Lots of people think peace is the absence of chaos, but I’m sorry to say that’s never gonna happen. There will always be something that will disrupt you in your journey, obstacles that will stand in your way. It’s the nature of life.

But here’s where people make their BIGGEST MISTAKE: they let the chaos affect their lives in ways that it shouldn’t, and some decide to let that “detour” be their last stop. Soon, it gets comfortable and gets even harder to take more risks.

Chaos should never change your goals. If anything, it should challenge you to change how you think and change what you do instead. It should allow you to adapt, adjust, and innovate.

I’m just like you, I used to get overwhelmed with chaotic situations and leave myself stressed out and burned out. I actually used to get stress hives. But I didn’t want to stay that way. I wanted to learn how to stretch myself and learn how to stay calm under stress.

Here are some ways to find peace and stay calm in the midst of chaos that have helped me:

1. Slow down so you can speed up.

I remember this saying so vividly because my old boss used to say this all the time. Working fast is the perfect ground for mistakes. The same goes for reacting in a situation. As much as it is admired to think quickly on their toes, it’s even more valuable to slow down and think about how one decision will affect everything long-term. When you react, it is usually tied to your human emotion. But when you respond, you’ve thought about it logically and rationally. It’s always better to take a step back and come up with a sound response.

2. Look for the silver lining.

Everything happens for a reason, not just the good things, but also the bad things… the failures, the doors being closed, the losses. I stopped looking at failures as a bad thing and stopped beating myself up for it. As much as I didn’t want all the toxic things to have happened to my life, I don’t regret going through it or I wouldn’t be the person I am today. Look at the losses as a learning opportunity. What is this experience teaching me? How can I respond to what’s happening to me in this season? What can I do to be better? How can I maximize this time to get out of this in victory and never go through it again?

3. Take care of your body.

Need I say more? Make your physical health your priority. Eat a balanced diet, fuel your body properly, drink plenty of water, take vitamins and supplements, exercise regularly, and GET PLENTY OF SLEEP! Taking care of your body helps you to become better equipped to solve problems and have better focus. By improving your health, you’ll increase your memory and emotional intelligence, and have better self-control.

4. Call a friend or mentor/leader, and ask for help.

A lot of people think they don’t need a support system to get stuff done. They would rather figure it out by themselves, or use Google university to find solutions. This is what we call a fixed mindset, and what I call your EGO talking. You can’t build an empire and a legacy relying on Google and yourself. You need help, and it’s okay to ask for help. Actually, it’s better that you do. When you reach out to people you trust and respect, especially people who’s gone through more than you have, you’ll feel more grounded and confident because you know they have your back. This gives you security and will help you control your stress.

Mentorship plays an integral part into a person’s success in life. It helps someone tell you things that you don’t want to hear about yourself. It helps you look at yourself in the mirror more closely. They show you your blind spots.

People of authority are placed in your life for a reason. They’re not there to limit you, but to guide you in the right direction. Experience may be the best teacher, but people forget the most important part: “given it’s someone else’s experience”. Use your support system as your voice of reason and your weapon of knowledge.

5. Try disconnecting.

I talked about reacting vs. responding on my first point. Disconnecting is how you come up with a sound response or a fresh perspective. It helps you to process the situation and recover. Look at it as your place of rest. But don’t stay there too long.

6. Set some boundaries.

We’re all at home. Our routines have become discombobulated, and our time blocks are blurred. It’s so easy to get caught up with work and tasks that sometimes you just feel empowered to keep going. Trust me, if there’s anyone who knows working 24/7, it’s me. As much as I enjoy working hard, saying NO and giving myself time to rest has helped me stay out of the burnout zone. Set some boundaries. I usually put a hard stop to my office tasks and make sure I don’t think about it when I log off. When I moved jobs last year, I made sure I didn’t install my work email to my phone. I make sure I don’t overburden my list of to-do’s for the day.

I’ve also changed my posting schedule on Instagram. I used to post every day, but now don’t pressure myself to post on the weekends.

7. Meditate and pray.

I don’t know what your quiet time looks like for you, it could be meditating, speaking what you’re grateful for, telling yourself positive things about yourself and who you would like to become, reading a book, or listening to motivational podcasts. But for me, my quiet time is also spending time in the presence of God.

I’m a Christian, and I rely on this tip more than the rest. The Bible says,

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” ​Matthew 11:28-30 (ESV)

I find my quiet time with God so beneficial in my journey. It was this relationship that sustained me when I was being mentally abused. He was my source of peace in my troubled time.

Learn to love the chaos. Your mind is like the GPS to your destination. Train it to keep recalculating your route to your destination.